i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
