Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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