your room smells of hookers.
And success
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
