What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
