then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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