Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
