I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
3pm strippers are depressing
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
