Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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