I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
