successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
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I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
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I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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