Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm too high and old for this...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
