I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
