the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
