i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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