I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
