My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize