420 ftw
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
