If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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