I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
