I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
