I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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