Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
