If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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