Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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