How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
