Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
