I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
