I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
