I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just had sex on a roof
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
