these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
