I think I died a long time ago.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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