I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Let's get the cat blown out
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
