I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
