I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
