I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
