Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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