I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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