dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize