I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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