you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
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I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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