grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
