If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
