I seem to have left my pride at pride
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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