I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
