somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
