there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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