yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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