how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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