I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
