Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
