Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
