It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
