I'm eating all of the evidence.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
