she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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