i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
