Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
