My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
