someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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