i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
