We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
