She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I looked at my own cervix.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
